Synopsis
Movie: Kiss Me Deadly
Director: Robert Aldrich
Notable Characters: Mike Hammer, private investigator
Velda, Mike’s assistant/girlfriend
Christina Baily, escaped damsel in distress
Nick “Va Va Voom,” Mike’s mechanic and Greek friend
Hoard of faceless bad men
DISCLAIMER: As always, this review will contain spoilers. This may upset you. Please accept our apology… ALTHOUGH if you really cared about this movie you would have watched it at some point in the last 59 years it has been out. We’ve reached the statute of limitations on spoilers in this movie. You have no one to blame but yourself. - Roy
Roy: Kiss Me Deadly is a noir detective film made in 1955 by Robert Aldrich. Just so we are all together here, “noir” is a style of film (you’ve probably heard the term “film noir”). The lighting and how it is shot is very distinctive. They light the sets to cast long shadows and it is usually a detective movie, almost always in Los Angeles, unless it is French Noir… and after last week’s movie I have no idea how to react to those two words. Mike Hammer (what a name!) is driving along a road at night and is flagged down by a terrified Christina Baily who asks for his help. As he is taking her to a bus station she tells him she was held captive, and if she doesn’t make it to the bus station he is supposed to “remember her.” Soon they are run off the road by the hoard of faceless bad men. Mike is knocked unconscious and Christina is tortured to death. Mike wakes up in a hospital room surrounded by the police and Velda. He begins investigating what happened and the whole thing just gets more awesome from here. Hold on to your butts!
Review
Cody: This movie was actually really easy to get into. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, so I was pleasantly surprised. Essentially we have Mike Hammer going on a one man journey (with occasional help from Velda) to get to the bottom of why Christina was killed. Along the way he beats up numerous baddies because he can, smashes hands in drawers to get what he wants, and breaks collector’s item records just to prove a point. All of this while making out with every girl in sight. I am not exactly an expert on the history of cinema, but I am willing to bet this 1955 private eye who plays by his own rules may have been one of our first ever “anti-heroes.” You think I’m wrong, unnamed reader? Well too darn bad! This is half my blog, and I don’t see you committing to watching 1,000 movies. You question me again, and va va voom I’ll knock ya right into next week!
Roy: *stunned silence*…..Cody apparently really enjoyed this movie. And I did too. This movie was good. Great, even. It was a fantastic example of a detective following a lead until it dies and digging up new leads and following those. Cops revoke your P.I. and gun carrying licenses? Mike teaches us that you go rogue and investigate without a gun. Because he’s The Hammer! Your next stop would be the dead chick’s apartment in order to find her roommate’s new address. Well….of course he has to protect the roommate. Because he’s The Hammer! Our “anti-hero,” as Cody affectionately refers to him, works his way up the food chain of baddies by confiscating switchblades, slamming heads into brick walls, and throwing bad guys down twenty-seven flights of concrete stairs. And he does all of this because He’s. The. Hammer! He even gets his greek buddy/mechanic in on the action. The fact that he gets the poor immigrant va va vakilled is secondary. He keeps moving forward. That’s the key.
Cody: So everyone reading should just get used to the fact that I will discuss film scores on every single movie we watch. They are probably my favorite thing about movies. Do you ever notice that black and white film scores all sound almost exactly the same? It’s as if they only knew one way to indicate suspense. If you were out of the room and heard the opening sequence, you would know you were dealing with a 50’s movie instantly. I love to study the way musical scores have developed over the years. And, on another note, if you got a problem with me being excited after watching Tom Brady play Mike Hammer and double slap people all over the place like he’s shredding the New York Jets secondary, then maybe I should just come over there and double slap you...or go for 28/32 completions and 3 touchdowns on you….or….ok their rogueish good looks may be messing with my head….
Roy: *increasingly stunned silence*………… Regardless of the fact that Mike Hammer could pass for Brady’s grandfather, and ignoring Cody’s obvious homo-erotic struggle/meltdown…. I think this movie did quite a lot for the noir genre. Mike was a man who lived on the edge. Separate from society. This is also a hallmark of the hard-boiled, detective/noir genre. The detectives operate in society but are neither a part of the criminal element they chase or the society they protect. Like Cody’s strong delusional assertion, they play by their own rules. Profound… I know…. but you should also know that I took an Art of Film class this semester….so, that makes me an expert if you need to know anything about man’s struggle against the milieu of society and his place in it. Community College fever folks! Catch it! But I digress… All this violence leads Mike to the prize the bad guy was trying to get his hands on. Some sort of radioactive material that he, no doubt, had sinister plans for. When Mike first stumbled on it I was sure he had found Marsellus Wallace's lost soul. But as it turned out, It was just an atomic explosive that burned the house down.
Cody: Why was the radioactive substance whispering? Did 1950’s people just know nothing about atomic bombs and/or fire? Anyway, I would like to point out a difference between men and women. A man, in his impatience, opens this box recklessly and inadvertently kills everyone near him. A woman cold bloodedly murders everyone and then, thinking she has the box all to herself, opens it and inadvertently kills herself. The lesson? Despite the many differences between both genders, all people are idiots. That was the clear point to this film right? The only way you can get stuff done is to do it yourself….by your own rules...because people are idiots. I am amazing at understanding cinematic subtext/messages/imagery. I should review movies.
Roy: *increasingly-er stunned silence* …...……………………………….. Let’s all take into account that Cody is clearly going through an “all women are evil” phase, so am I vaguely concerned that he is going to troll downtown Detroit (where he lives), pick up a homeless woman and force her into a wig to look like this? Yes. Am I nervous that he will then pay her in sandwiches to answer to the name Velda, and attempt to open a private investigating firm, giving him a forum to “play by his own rules?” Yes. Do I expect to get a call from jail asking to bail him out because he “played by his own rules” a little too much, in front of a police officer, and is exploiting the homeless?? Again... Yes. In fact, if you would like to donate to The COARD, all proceeds will go to bailing Cody out whenever he decides to emulate The Hammer. Well…. we can’t choose our friends. Wait… ….what? WE CAN choose our friends?! I have some things to re-evaluate…...
Cody: I’m not so sure that I won’t need help getting out of jail when I don’t decide to not play by my own rules.
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