The COARD V & VI: Osama (2003) & Fargo (1996)

Synopsis:

Movie: Osama

Director: Siddiq Barmak

Notable Characters: Osama, preteen girl forced to masquerade as a boy

Osama’s mother and grandmother

Espandi, preteen boy who wants to help Osama

Taliban, Nameless men who are just evil and awful. And evil.

DISCLAIMER: Spoiler Alert. This small and quick review will contain spoilers. And sadness. This movie was a boring sandwich peppered with sadness and despair. Please bear with us.

Roy: This movie is made and set in Afghanistan before the Taliban lost their ruling power through the war on terror. Women were not allowed to work. Osama lives with her mother and grandmother. All of the men in their family have been killed in the various wars waged in this country. They are faced with the very real possibility that they will all starve to death. To avoid their collective death, they cut Osama’s hair so she can pretend to be a boy, this will allow her to work so they can eat. Her friend Espandi sees through this poor ruse rather quickly but seems willing to help by lying to the entire world. After a day or two of work and food the Taliban comes through the village and takes all the young boys to brainwashing school. Osama now has to pretend to be a boy while surrounded by dozens of actual boys who can obviously tell she is a girl.

Review:

Cody:  There were a lot of scenes in here that were educational.  Some of the religious rituals were particularly interesting.  I would have to say that is probably the best thing to take away from this extremely depressing film.  I learned quite a bit about Muslim beliefs and practices.  One interesting point: the men and women seem to have entirely different religious duties and rituals.  So, I suppose there was some value to this movie, but, in the end, I would suggest simply Wikipedia’ing life in Afghanistan/Islam.

Roy: It was interesting to note that cleansing themselves involves just pouring water over them three times. I would suggest telling them a bar of soap wouldn’t go amiss, but if history is our guide, they’re not really a people who are “open” to outside suggestion… Suffice to say Osama is quickly found out to be a girl, and therefore guilty of a crime punishable by death. She goes to trial, which is just one old dude lounging in the sun who is given a summary of the case, even more brief than the synopsis on this movie, and thinks about the verdict for 3.7 seconds and either forgives or condemns. The poor woman before Osama was guilty of something or other, buried up to the neck, and stoned to death. Osama’s fate was less severe but almost as tragic. She was forgiven but given to a man easily in his 60s as a wife. He took her home where his other wives prepared her for her wedding night. The old man bathes, the movie ends. Anything to add Cody?

Cody: This is one of those movies that makes you truly take stock of your life, and you know what?  I sure am glad we live in this country and not anywhere else. ‘Merica.

Roy: Sooo…. we know it’s been weeks since we posted. Someone was moving across the country. And this movie bummed us out. So that brings us to……..

Synopsis

Movie: Fargo

Director: Joel Coen (and Ethan Coen too even though he isn’t credited)

Notable Characters: Jerry Lundegaard, car salesman who needs a ton of money really quick

Jean Lundegaard, wife to Jerry

Carl Showalter & Gaear Grimsrud, criminals for hire.  Will do just about

any idiot task. Dirt cheap.

Wade Gustafson, Jerry’s conveniently wealthy father-in-law

Marge Gunderson, Pregnant, clever, hard-working, Minnesoootaahh cop

DISCLAIMER: I am awfully sorry about all the spoilers that are to follow.  If you want to watch this wonderful film without anything spoiled, then you just go on ahead and stop reading now.  I understand.  No, it’s ok.  I can’t expect anyone to read if they don’t like spoilers.  I hope you all will visit us in Fargo though, yah?

Cody: “Oh geez”, this is a Coen brothers film.  Which means....something…or nothing, depending on how much you care about that sort of thing.  I suppose everyone can decide their own opinion.  This movie has two major elements driving it.  The crime planned by the misguided Jerry and the setting of rural North Dakota/Minnesota.  The poor fella just couldn’t catch a break.  He plans for his wife to be kidnaped by Carl and Gaear, and the ransom to be paid by Wade.  Unfortunately, Carl was funny looking and Gaear was just plain mean.  After kidnapping Jean, the boys have a run in with the police.  Oh geez, suddenly there are three dead bodies.  A poor couple happened by our criminals at the wrong moment.  Marge is assigned the triple homicide case.  Will she catch the bad guys?  You’re darn tootin’, she will!

Review:

Roy: Ooookaaayyyyy. This clip is a perfect snapshot of what everyone in this movie sounds like. It’s amazing. Oh Geez Coodee, where do I even begin to explain how fun this movie was. William H. Macey took to this role like a golly gee mallard takes to water dontchya know. I spent a lot of my time in this movie feeling sorry for him and alternately not believing how much of a tool bag this guy really was. After realizing the curtain is closing on an embezzlement attempt that is clearly going to fail, he decides to pay criminals to kidnap his wife so he can swindle Wade, his father-in-law, out of some fast cash. You want to hate the guy but he’s just such a loser that you feel bad for the little fella. So does his carefully crafted plan fall apart? Well…. Ooohhh yaaahhhh.

Cody: The beginning of that clip makes for a wonderful segway into Cody’s Movie Score Moment.  Brought to you this week by injuries in the NBA playoffs.  “Injuries in the NBA playoffs: for when you need irrational reasons to be completely depressed.”  Yah, Carter Burwell did a masterful job with this “score.”  It subtly sets the tone for the majority of the movie, and it builds to crescendo during the climactic scene where Marge confronts Gaear.  Oh geez, speaking of segways and subtleties.  My favorite parts of this movie were all the not so subtle borderline superfluous scenes.  The scene between Marge and a “former classmate” absolutely had me in stitches.  It works just fine out of the context of the movie, and it does not spoil any major plot elements at all.  Seriously.  Go watch it.  Roy will be waiting with some hilarious thoughts on our friend Mike when you get back.

Roy: For Peeet’s Saaake Mike, where to even begin? Let’s set aside the fact that we see an Asian man talk like he was born and raised in Minnesoootahhh, which I am positive isn’t that out of the ordinary, but still not what you are expecting. I’m trying to decide if the best part of this is when he refers to Marge’s husband as Norm “Sonofa” Gunderson, or when he loses control and blurts out “I always liked you, I always liked you soo much!” This poor guy was in need of a hug. But there’s no way I’m giving him one. Let’s not forget he continues to hit on her after he realizes she is pregnant and  married to a high school buddy of his.

Cody: Oh geez, oh Pete’s, they really do get into some hijinks in this movie don’t they, oooh yaaah?  The two criminals are immensely entertaining.  The funny looking one has some hilarious dialogue.  Of course, we are usually laughing at him, not with him.  Normally I wouldn’t suggest that, but I won’t tell if you won’t, yah?  During the course of picking up the ransom money, the funny looking one has a bullet graze his cheek. He then pathetically tries to bandage it up with some sort of
medical tape.  The attention to detail and randomness of this is what makes this movie so fun.  There are so many more examples, but I found that one particularly great.

Roy: What is so brilliant about this movie is the two criminals that leave a wake of death and destruction behind them are such a foreign element to the society they are operating in. The Coen brothers went to great lengths to show how polite, trusting, and patient this society is and these two outsiders just rip through and don’t give two hoots to how things go there. Nothing goes according to plan for anyone in this movie with the exception of Margie Gunderson. The fact that she is from a small town, a pregnant woman, and has a thick accent makes you immediately wonder how useless she will be. The pleasant surprise of it all is she is extremely smart, charming, and genuine. She doesn’t understand why these men do what they do, and she doesn’t need to understand. She is happy with her life. Her closing monologue brings this all together for us.

Cody: Margie closes the movie by reminding us of a simple lesson that we always seem to forget.  “There’s more to life than a little money, don’tcha know?” she says, “and here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day.”  Sweet pregnant Minnesotan Marge takes two sentences to tell us that we could all stand to stress a little less over money and to enjoy the few beautiful days we are given.  I think in the end that was the meaningful lesson to learn from this fun flick. Then there’s the most meaningful lesson to be learned here: Woodchippers are not a convenient or efficient way to dispose of bodies.

Roy: Efficient? No. Effective? Absolutely. Had he not been caught “red handed”, yaaahh?  Yep, I went there.  There is no way the body could be identified. Also just a small FYI, this movie is fantastic if you can handle the heavy language and occasional surprising violence. This is not something you want your 5 year old around to listen to unless you are ok with pausing the movie constantly to bribe him to go back upstairs...not that I have any experience with that. But back to the movie. One thing still bothers me, during the botched ransom exchange, Carl lucks into an extra 920 thousand dollars that he has no intention of splitting with his partner. He takes the eighty grand they planned on splitting; he gives his partner 40 of it; and he decides to take the new car they stole. When Gaear asks to be compensated for half the car's value (ten thousand dollars), Carl refuses and gets killed because of it! Greed will get you every time man... Cody, I promise you if we ever kidnap anyone and I'm already cheating you out of 920 Gs, I will chip you off an extra 10 for the new car I'm taking. It's only fair.

Cody: Well if that isn’t true friendship right there, then what is?