The COARD: Finding Dory

After taking a brief hiatus from our typical format last review, we are back to more familiar ground this week. There will be a non-spoiler review to start things off, and a section where we discuss the poorly written and executed plot points of an animated movie about an adult fish looking for her parents. You may not be able to tell but I'm totally rolling my eyes.  

Roy: Finding Dory. What can I say? It definitely had its moments. Both good and bad. Unfortunately the bad outweighed the good. You can tell from my haiku that I was not expecting much from this movie. I am typically ok with sequels. I even get excited for them as a general rule. With one exception. Animated movies. In my experience, anytime an animated movie is given another chapter it is 90 minutes of the same jokes, and the same characters making the same jokes. I get it. I am not the demographic that is being aimed for. And kids want the same characters telling the same jokes. So it does well and is quite successful. And to Pixar's credit, they added some fresh things in this sequel to make it enjoyable for the adults and to keep things moving. Literally. The bad news is one of the new additions kept perpetuating one of my main problems with the film. I really enjoyed the three new characters. Hank, Destiny, and Bailey, were all good additions to this franchise, partly because the actors voicing these characters are all great. Ed O'Neill and Ty Burrell are always fun together, and Kaitlin Olson is great in everything she does. These new characters brought a lot to a film that frankly, needed their help.

"Better than Godfather Part II"
-People everywhere

Cody: If you think I'm going to let this slide by without mentioning Toy Story 2, one of the best sequels of all time, then you're crazy. And yes, I said sequel, not animated sequel. Toy Story 2 was that freaking good. It has nothing to do with the fact that I was eight years old when it came out, and suggesting otherwise would be slanderous and preposterous. Anyway, speaking of best in category movies, Finding Dory is the long awaited sequel to one of the best animated films of all time, so it stood no chance at living up to expectations. However, I was expecting it to be mostly a swing and miss. Doubting the quality of a Pixar film is like doubting the ocean's tides, but I've had a feeling that Pixar, like our fish friends, has been playing too close to the drop off. Given the lofty expectations following up the beloved Nemo after 10 years, this was a success. Was it as good? Definitely not. But it was close enough to be worthy of it's place next to Nemo. The laughs were light and easy throughout the entire movie, and they sprinkled in just enough feels. Not approaching the upper echelon of Pixar's distinguished resume, but definitely not drifting near the bottom with the Good Dinosaurs of the filmography.

Roy: Toy Story 2 is the one glaring exception to the rule. And I would argue that part of that is star power. Tom Hanks is a national treasure, and say what you want about Tim Allen, the guy understands his wheelhouse and dominates it. In Finding Dory we have.... Ellen? Who, do not get me wrong, is super famous and also quite brilliant at what she does but is not a typical Hollywood headliner. The biggest stars in this movie is the cast of Modern Family. Which by the way, subtle Disney. Reeeeaaallll subtle. I will fully agree that Toy Story 2 is the standard that all animated sequels strive to be. But I think you will agree with me when I say that it stands alone. This movie did have plenty of chuckles and a couple of good emotional moments. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't that good either. I kept wanting it to be more than it was. The biggest mistake that Pixar did was pigeon hole themselves with the title, Finding Dory. They basically decided to tell the exact same story, except focus their lens on a different character. This movie could have been much better if they had pivoted to a different story altogether... And cut the runtime down by 15 minutes or so. Actually... it wasn't too long of a movie, but it felt that way. Especially, because the film followed the same formula and hit repeat. "Things look bleak. Oh hey! Things are looking up. Aww geez. They're screwed. No wait! They're not!" It just became too much once the final ridiculous obstacle appeared.

Cody: Well yes, actually, I do agree. Toy Story 2 is the exception, not the rule. Definitely not as much star power in Dory, but we do have some fun actor pairings! We've got the aforementioned Ed O'Neil and Ty Burrell of Modern Family, but also Idris Elba and Dominic West, who formerly starred in The Wire together, playing sea lion buddies. It was also fun to hear the familiar voices of SNLers Kate McKinnion and Bill Hader (obligatory Tulsa shout out). Although, Hanks and Allen, they are not. Some combination of Ty Burrell's awesomeness and the writing of his character was the best piece of this movie. I laughed the hardest at jokes or moments involving Bailey the beluga whale. Ultimately, I think you bring up the best point here. It would have been more fun to see them take it in a new direction. It's tough to make a movie that is really similar to an original without it feeling stale. I'm still overall pleased with this movie. However, I have one bone to pick. This takes place one year after the events of Finding Nemo. Why is Nemo still a child fish? Furthermore, what happened to Marlin's face? He looks like a grandpa fish now. If we can't have realistic fish aging in film, then what can we have? What can we have, Roy?

Roy: A movie that is charming and not terrible to sit through. Although there's a good chance you will feel like you're sitting through Finding Nemo for the billionth time even though you are not. But that is all we are going to get.


We are going to spoil this movie for you. We are going to spoil it all over the place. There is going to be so much spoiled that if this review was in your fridge and you opened the Tupperware to take a whiff, you would immediately vomit... You have been warned.

Roy: The whole story really left me underwhelmed. An adult fish who can't remember anything is searching for her parents like she's a missing child, but begins to remember everything the moment she swims into something blocking her progress from finding said family. The deus ex machina was on full display here. Even the great eagles from The Lord of the Rings were watching this movie and did a face palm. Or... Face wing? Sorry, no good way to be clever there.  It's like the writers said to themselves, "How do we get her closer to her goal when she has amnesia? Oh I got it! Her memory will come back in fragments anytime she gets even remotely stuck!" It was lazy writing. And that isn't even my biggest problem with this movie. Look, maybe I'm just the cranky old guy yelling at kids to get off of my lawn, but there is one constant theme that ran through this movie that bugged the algae out of me. So, there is this new thing the kids these days are doing called science. Science tells us that fish cannot move or really do anything at all outside of water except, you know, die. I'm not looking for complete realism in this movie. But, the fact that crossing a bajillion different barriers where water was no where to be found was not an issue in the slightest, really began to grind my gears. In fact, it's almost like the writers specifically created the character Hank to be a glorified taxi driver. It's a good thing Ed O'Neil kept things interesting by being great because if that character was flat this whole movie could have really sucked.

Cody: Speaking of impossible tasks and Hank the taxi driver, who had the bright idea to have an octopus drive a truck? Most of the movie featured adorably impossible tasks, but that scene went from adorable to absurd. They officially jumped the shark. Or, flipped the octopus? Whatever. Too far Pixar, too far. So I guess I'm saying overall I agree with your point. They took a few too many liberties. We don't have to attribute this sentiment with us being old. We both just recently watched and thoroughly enjoyed Zootopia, so obviously we're capable of appreciating an animated movie (another free movie review for you from your friends here at The COARD). In comparison to Nemo, Dory was successful in changing up the setting. It was a smart play to make their initial journey across the ocean a relatively short scene, then spending the majority of the time in the marine institute. Unlike you, I didn't get too worked up over Hank carrying Dory around in a coffee pot or cup or whatever it might have been. The maze and journey within the institute was fun, and this was also where we got to experience the aforementioned Destiny and Bailey, the two best characters in the movie. Had the entire thing taken place in the ocean, it really would have been identical to Finding Nemo, but the new setting was enough to make it fresh and fun.

Roy: I was glad that they changed the scenery by going to the marine institute. And having self-aware Sigourney Weaver as the PA announcer was a nice touch. But now this brings me to yet another problem I had with this movie. Apparently all marine institutes and aquariums filter their dirty water right into the ocean, and fish can swim in and out at will? ...What? This raises all sorts of questions. How do they keep the water in the institute clean if it is connected to the Del Mar bay? Since when did Del Mar, CA even have a bay? If a beluga whale uses his sonar to see through the pipes of a marine institute and no fish where there to hear it, did he in fact make any sound at all? I will leave it to you to find these answers because I flat out don't care. And don't even get me started on Hank the Octopus literally driving a truck. You read that sentence right. An octopus drove a truck to save his fish friends. How do you come back from that? The answer is you don't. And the writers knew what they were doing, which is why it was the bit that closed the movie down. All I can say is, Dory and the gang were really lucky the highway the truck was headed down went parallel to and over the bay, otherwise Dory and Hank would have had to take an Uber to get back to the ocean. And no, I'm not putting that past the writers.

An octopus, operating the pedals and steering wheel
with tentacles, while being directed by a
fish sloshing about in an open container

Cody: How dare you besmirch Bailey and his beautiful gift! He was everything in this movie! Everything! I know literally nothing about beluga whales, so as far as I'm concerned, that was a barely exaggerated portrayal of their abilities. If you want to complain about the "whales," then you may want to mention that the reason a whale shark is called a whale shark, and not a shark whale, is in fact because they are sharks the size of whales. Soooo Destiny would have straight chomped Dory without a second thought. All they would have found of Dory would have been her little yellow fin floating in some shark excrement. Unless Destiny was one of those Australian vegan sharks from Nemo, but seeing as she "spoke whale," I'm guessing they were content just pretending her species wasn't literally misrepresented. You're right about the holes in the marine institute, but you missed a big one. Apparently the large "whale" enclosures are so poorly made that the inhabitants can jump out straight into the ocean? That's just downright irresponsible. So wow, yea, we really got on a roll poking holes in this movie. It was as easy to rip this movie as it was for Hank to somehow successfully navigate a truck using only the terrible directions of Dory. I don't feel great about the public shaming, because I really did enjoy Finding Dory. Even if the only way she was ever found by Marlin and Nemo was by the help of a mentally handicapped bird that seemingly telepathically knew where they wanted to go. Shoot. I did it again. I have to quit this review before I convince myself I didn't actually like this movie.