The COARD: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

In case you're just joining us we'll give you a refresher. We aren't going to spoil this movie for you. Um... that's not actually true. We will totally spoil this for you, however we promise to give you plenty of warning before we burst forth with childlike glee discussing the plot points of the 2 hours and 13 minutes of pure delight that is masquerading as a movie within the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Roy: Speaking for Cody, I will admit there are times we see a movie and walk out feeling nervous because we have committed to writing about it and there's not much to say. Sometimes movies just suck. It doesn't matter if the movie has Forrest Gump, Hermione Granger, FN-2187, and the late great Bill Paxton dancing in front of us. Even the best actors must have a well written story as a solid foundation. The real question here is; would Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 join hands with The Circle and hang its head in shame? Or would it do the impossible and exceed the incredibly high expectations thrust upon it by its overachieving first volume? I'm going to answer said question by saying that Guardians should be the new standard all tent-pole movies aspire to be. It isn't merely that the cast seemed to bathe in liquid chemistry every day. It's that, added to a superbly written story; one which delivered constant laughs, as well as multiple heart felt moments. How did Guardians become the best thing about the MCU? (That's the Marvel Cinematic Universe to you non-nerds out there). The truth is I don't care. I'm just glad it's here to save us from the egocentric and self-righteous Avengers.

"I'm being paid how much
for this...?"

Cody: Oh, The Circle. The B horror film script with an A list cast. According to Box Office Mojo, the budget for this film was $18 million, and at the time of me writing this, it hasn't broke even. I'm sure it will ultimately make that money back, but I would have thought $18 million would only be enough to get Danny Elfman to tarnish his stellar career by writing the score for this. That's nothing compared to the astronomical sum needed to have the legendary Tom Hanks or so-hot-right-now Emma Watson lead the whole thing. Hanks and Watson should fire their agents. If you want a true paranoia sci-fi thriller, save yourself some money and trouble and queue up Black Mirror on Netflix. You know what was pretty good in comparison to The Circle? Well, literally anything in theaters right now, but we're here to talk about Guardians! Roy and I find ourselves in complete agreement here, which will inevitably not always be the case this summer. Vol. 2 built on the successes of the first iteration by combining the right mix of sticking with what works and pushing characters into new territory. It was light but emotional, self-deprecating but confident, I am Groot but I am Groot. Altogether, simply my new favorite Marvel movie.

Roy: I'm trying to come up with an apt description to explain how difficult it had to be to make a movie like this. Here's what I got. This movie made me care deeply about the emotional journey of a talking space raccoon. Let's all briefly rewind and read the previous sentence again. As silly as it sounds, that statement is completely accurate. If James Gunn had only succeeded in making a feel-good comedy it would have been enough, but he didn't stop there. This movie was visually stunning. I could go on and on listing the different things that looked amazing in this movie, or I could give you one word to sum it all up. Everything. Everything in this movie was aesthetically pleasing. Let's take Zoe Saldana as a prime example. This woman was painted in a bright shade of green the entire movie and pulled it off. Actually, "pulled it off" is an understatement. The detail that went into creating Drax's skin was no less astounding. The attention to detail in this movie was extraordinary and it completely paid off.

Yes. That's Merle Dixon with a giant space fin

Cody: Not to mention the fact that all these people still had to act to make this all believable. And yes, I realize that "believable" is a loose term here as we discuss an intergalactic space story featuring a talking baby tree, but that's the point. That's still Vin Diesel saying, "I am Groot," and making each one unique. Bradley Cooper made you laugh and gave you the feels, and as previously mentioned, he is playing a CGI trash panda. Beyond that, you have humans covered in varying colors, antennae, and other imagined space things. They have to portray their characters in spite of and through inconveniences and downright limitations. Dave Bautista was killer; Karen Gillan made great strides with a previously one dimensional character; and then there's Michael Rooker. In a movie with copious strong performances, he deserves a mention alone. He was given enough screen time and material to make something happen, and he knocked it out of the park.

Roy: I'm cheating real quick... I'm supposed to be starting the spoiler section, but did anyone else realize that we wrote four paragraphs on this movie and didn't once mention the lead role who has turned into one of Hollywood's biggest stars?? Chris Pratt was as lovable and astounding as ever. That's how good this movie was. There was so much to like about it, that it was easy for Peter Quill not to be the first thing on the list of great things about Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. 

Unless you are interested in reading how every character dies a gruesome yet meaningful death by the end of this movie you should not proceed past this point. I'm just kidding.... no one dies. ......Or do they?? See what I did there? Now I'm all over the place. You have no idea what to think. But for realsies. Spoilers ahead...

Roy: Your description of Michael Rooker's performance is spot on. As good as he was in the role of Yondu, his story line was better. I was shocked that Gunn took a secondary character from Vol. 1, and made his story arc the most emotional moment of the movie. And before you comic-book nerds pipe up and roll your eyes at us for not knowing who the "real Yondu" is, allow me to explain that we aren't comic book guys. Never have been. We are obviously movie guys. Thus, you know... a movie blog. If you want, you can always start a comic book blog. I mean... even less people will read it than read our movie blog, but you know... Dream big. Anyway. After the first installment it was easy to see that Yondu truly cared for our boy Quill. But I never expected him to express with his dying breath that he was proud to raise Quill and that he always loved him like a son. That was the biggest heartfelt moment in a movie that handed out laughs and "awws" in equal measure. 

Cody: Not only did Yondu deliver the most heartfelt moment of the movie, he also gave us its best meme. "I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all" is already on t shirts! Not that I thought about ordering one or anything...because if I did order a shirt, it would obviously be this one. What I love about this movie, and its predecessor, is its ability to be subtly self aware. It's not Deadpool breaking the fourth wall, but it's still there. For instance, Quill tells Gamora they have an "unspoken thing," like Sam and Diane from Cheers. She dismisses the idea. Not 30 seconds later, they are arguing with the patented charged chemistry of their Cheers doppelgangers. Then Quill dismisses the idea that they are Sam and Diane, just like Sam would do! Another example one could point to is the cameo of Hasselhoff for basically the exclusive reason of upping the 80s ante. Which appears in the climactic scene, much like Quill dancing to his own a capella version of "Ooh Child" in Vol 1. Gunn knows what kind movie he is making, and he is confident in the balance of tension and silliness. It works.

Fifty pounds of cool in a ten pound bag

Roy: No... it's cool. I never explicitly told you to stay away from the Sam and Diane thing because that was going to be the main point of my next paragraph. I guess I'll just have to dig up a different anchor for this movie and examine that. But to pile on for a bit... Quill and Gamora have officially joined the pantheon of lovers who spend most of their time denying the inevitable. Ross and Rachel, Sam and Diane, Quill and Gamora. It's a brilliant move. Quill's character is what keeps this movie relatable. In a movie with a triangle-faced monkey, a baby tree, a grey and purple death machine, and a green smoke-show, it would be easy to lose our way and have the whole thing descend into a mess with which we never quite connect. Peter Quill keeps this from happening. His favorite music is the heavily underrated 70's pop era, and his 80's pop-culture knowledge is second to none. When something happens he is always there to remind us that this same thing happened in Cheers, or how freaking cool Knight Rider was. Quill and I are close to the same age. And let me tell you, when I was 5 years old all I wanted to do was watch Knight Rider on repeat. The only thing cooler than Kit was Michael Knight. Guys. I even watched the this terrible Knight Rider TV movie multiple times in my life. We all wanted The Hoff as our Dad. Despite who our actual Dad was. Quill reminds us that we aren't the only outsiders on this journey. He is one of us; helping us laugh at, and sometimes, with the rest of them.

Cody: I apologize for broaching the 80s topic first, but can I really be blamed for having an expansive and impressive knowledge of pop culture that was relevant before my birth? I'm sure Roy would be dying to in some way take credit for my 80s knowledge. It's not like he convinced me to watch Cheers in the first place or anything. (Roy: That's exactly what happened. Cody was all, "blah blah blah Fraser is so great." I was all, "Sure, it is. But it will always be a lesser spinoff of something far greater." He was all, "Wait.... Fraser is a spinoff?"). Cody: You have your version; I have mine. I'm going to leave you all with my own personally crafted fan theory related to all this 80s stuff. If you look at the IMDb cast list, two of the first three names that are new to the franchise (everyone through Karen Gillan appeared in the first film) are Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell. Now where have I heard those two names before...oh I don't know, maybe in some of the biggest freaking movies of the EIGHTIES! Stallone just appeared on screen multiple times as Rocky and Rambo, two huge movie icons to this day. And Russell? How about cult classics Escape from New York and Big Trouble in Little China. James Gunn was born in 1970. He would have been a teenager in the 80s. He's clearly got a whole scheme here. Not only is he weaving the decade into the script and the soundtrack (he consults with Tyler Bates on the choices), but he is also trying to cast the 80s into the films. He got Russell and Stallone already. That can only mean one thing as the next logical step. The Terminator will be in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. Take it to the bank people.