It is usually right about here where we warn you that we are going to spoil the crap out of the following movie for you. Things change. Well…. Kind of. The beginning of this review is spoiler free. Rest assured, we are still going to openly discuss the plot points of this movie. However, we will give you ample warning before that happens. Unlike our arch nemesis, that hack Wesley Morris, who happily spoils movies like Gone Girl when it has been out for only two weeks.
Roy: I wasn’t sure what to expect from this movie. Judging by the trailers and my haiku, I was really nervous about watching my beloved superheroes go to war against each other. And I wish my anxiety was limited to only that. I didn’t love The Avengers or Avengers: Age of Ultron. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t terrible. I didn’t hate them. I just found myself wishing they would hurry up and finish around the 90 minute mark as opposed to the 120-140 minutes those bloated cash cows usually clock in at.
It would be easy to trash them for their painful dialogue that desperately attempts to be witty, or the unnecessary scenes that contribute nothing to the story, except action for the sake of action. What bothered me most about the Avengers movies is that such a large collection of powerful superheroes carries baggage. In order to make the audience think their chances at surviving, let alone winning, are bleak, the threat they face has to be overwhelming and ridiculous. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting reality from an Avengers movie. But at the same time, I found myself rolling my eyes occasionally.
Even though this isn’t technically an “Avengers” movie, Captain America can no longer be separated from them. He is less Captain America and more Captain Avenger, as he is leading the team from Avengers headquarters. I was pleasantly relieved to find that Civil War did not suffer from any of the above mentioned issues…well, the dialogue was still painful at times. But rarely. Poor Falcon, he always seems to get stuck with the bad lines. I think the formula worked this time because our heroes were fighting each other. It was both entertaining and plausible.
Cody: It definitely has become rather difficult to separate the individual Avengers from the wider team and universe. The characters are so intertwined, that they feel it is necessary to make excuses for the ones missing from this movie. Of course, nobody mentions when Iron Man completely no showed the near end of the world in Winter Soldier, but I digress. I thoroughly enjoyed this “Avengers” movie, although it did feel a little empty. It never felt that there was an endgame, but perhaps I missed that overwhelming and ridiculous threat. As the title suggests, the movie pits the Avengers against each other, and there’s just no good feeling in rooting for one side, and most importantly, against the other.
The dialogue was rough at times, but that was completely made up for by the introduction of Spider-Man. His nerdy charm is in full effect, and the casting of the age appropriate Tom Holland was perfect (even if he is pretty obviously British). I am fully pumped for the eventual standalone Spider-Man movie. We always knew his screen time would be low in this one as more established stars owned the screen, but I thoroughly enjoyed the time we had with our newest Avenger.
Roy: It’s not easy to walk into a movie and be asked to out-sarcasm Paul Rudd, and yet Tom Holland held his own in every scene, regardless of who he shared his screen time with. That can be a difficult ask for new characters. Thankfully not only Spider-Man but Black Panther handled their business without the audience feeling like it was forced. Black Panther was great. From the trailer I wasn’t sure if I would like him or not, but he was a fantastic addition to the cast. In his introductory scene he chased down the Winter Soldier and completely held his own. It was a fun way to initially meet this guy. He’s a character who was easy to empathize with. Which was the theme at the heart of the movie and also what made it so good. It showed us that even though all of these people are “super-humans,” if their special powers were to be stripped away they are very much still human. With all of the feels that you and I deal with. It made them relatable for the first time in well… ever. Civil War dug into the emotions that the characters were feeling, and we saw their raw reactions play out on screen.
Cody: They really made an effort to show the human side of our heroes, and it went mostly right. The balance of Ant-Man and Spider-Man’s sarcasm helped stop this from turning into a feelings party. They smartly framed the future of the Avengers universe around the strife amongst the team. No hero is ever going to wonder if they’re still the good guy like Batman can, but these characters all had convincing doubt. A little research shows me that the next Avengers movie is going to be a two parter. The world they’ve left us in excites me for the possibilities of those two movies, but that does introduce the possibility of upsetting Roy for being twice as long as the previously stated bloated cash cows.
Roy: Nooooooope. You know why? Because this two parter you speak of is the Avengers/Guardians of the Galaxy crossover. There is zero chance that sucks. None. So all in all Cody and I agree. Civil War was definitely one of the better Marvel movies and not a waste of your time or money. It is awarded the coveted COARD seal of approval. Now. If you have no interest in knowing detailed plot points about this movie, it’s time for you to leave.
You've been warned. What follows is a spoiler rich dialogue about the movie. Proceed on your own volition. We take literally zero responsibility for your actions. (And not in a rude way, but in a don't make us be rude way, ya know? Just...could you please only read if you're cool with spoilers?)
Cody: Well if we’re gonna do spoilers, we might as well dive right on in there. Your haiku was much more on track than mine. I was seriously concerned we would see the end of Captain America, maybe in death, but more likely in permanent exile. Thankfully, we just got a lot of anxiety and sadness watching all our Avenger friends fight. Well, not thankfully, but... relievingly? Oh, and fight the Avengers did. That scene at the air hangar (which Spider-Man totally stole) was one of the best Marvel fight scenes yet. Did you love giant Ant-Man as much as I did? Obviously, one of the biggest allures of a Marvel movie is the action, and they nailed all the fighting throughout the movie. Even the opening chase scene which conveniently featured the guy that totally died last Captain America movie. Whose actor contract likely guaranteed a second film appearance, so they pretended that he was still alive just to kill him off. Felt totally natural.
Cody: One sentence Roy is bemoaning the plight of the average innocent bystander in a superhero movie, and the next he is justifying someone’s death based on their slightly inflated sense of importance. Do I completely agree with all of his points? Yes, yes I do. But that doesn’t change the hypocrisy. I also wish I could disagree with Roy fawning over Cap’s ridiculous biceps while he successfully kept a helicopter from taking off. But that's folly. Oh they’re real, Roy. And they’re spectacular.
Given my love for Cap, I expected to find myself mostly irritated at Iron Man, but that wasn't the case. My favorite plot device in this movie is how easy it is to agree with both Cap and Iron Man. Stark is completely right, giving up their autonomy willingly is much better than having it taken forcefully later. However, who could possibly be more qualified to determine the legitimacy of a mission than the Avengers? I don’t know where I would net out if faced with the same dilemma. I would like to think I have the guts to side with Cap, but I probably wouldn’t have attended a funeral with a super forced eulogy that was tailored perfectly for my situation. Boy, talk about convenient timing!
Roy: A eulogy, given by the super attractive great niece (that Cap is just dying to make out with) of the woman he was formerly in love with but was tragically separated from when he crashed a Hydra jet and became an ice cube for 75 years. You know…. When I say these plots out loud like this I want to find a writer to throw a miniature gasoline truck at. But the fact that Disney pulls all of this off with ease is really quite impressive. Doing my own research on the next Avengers movie I found out that Audi takes over the entire world and doesn’t let anyone else buy a car they didn’t make. Or… was that a subplot to this movie? All I really know for sure is it was rare to see a car in this movie that didn’t have the Audi rings plastered across its grill. I’m seriously curious about that contract. It had to be substantial.
Cody: Audi is a premium brand and Chevy is a middling brand. Audi is everywhere in Avengers and Chevy is everywhere in Transformers. Hmm.. Anyway, Cap sure has a fondness for that family. Here’s an unpopular spin: how come there were so many people at the funeral of a woman who started an agency (SHIELD) that was completely infiltrated from the inside out by Hydra, so much so that SHIELD almost caused the end of the world in the last Captain America movie? Too soon?
So in the end, this movie left us with Stark at the Avengers complex, seemingly still on team Avengers, but pretty much every other Avenger is a fugitive. Which sort of implies that, ya know, there are no Avengers? Which brings us to the excitement for Avengers: Infinity War. Everybody loves a comeback story. Batman was gone for 8 years before Bane arrived in Gotham and duty called him back. He was in rough shape and nearly died. Somehow I don’t see the writers giving the Avengers such a difficult road back to glory. Maybe that’s because the DC universe is better than the Marvel one.
So in the end, this movie left us with Stark at the Avengers complex, seemingly still on team Avengers, but pretty much every other Avenger is a fugitive. Which sort of implies that, ya know, there are no Avengers? Which brings us to the excitement for Avengers: Infinity War. Everybody loves a comeback story. Batman was gone for 8 years before Bane arrived in Gotham and duty called him back. He was in rough shape and nearly died. Somehow I don’t see the writers giving the Avengers such a difficult road back to glory. Maybe that’s because the DC universe is better than the Marvel one.
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